You know by now that I am a logophile. I love words and idioms and etymology. Occasionally, I try to invent a new idiom. Most of them fail. For example,
Don’t start this fire unless you want the house to burn down.
This is what you say when someone is trying to start a fight with you. You want to convey the idea that you are willing to go down fighting. You’d be willing to destroy your own house to take your opponent down. The main problem with the phrase is that I can’t pull it off. Niecy Nash could though. She has the ferocity to make it work. Let’s face it, I’m not willing to be burn down any houses.
And so, Ms. Niecy Nash, if you are reading this, PLEASE make this happen.
But here’s a phrase within my power to coin.
The notion that the Scottish (my heritage) are thrifty is age-old. I really have no idea why. Thrifty is a nice word for it. But I’m thrifty and so is my dad and so are many men in my family. I realize that it has been used pejoratively. Calling someone Scotch mean calling someone cheap or stingy. Take Scotch Tape. Why is it called Scotch Tape? It is tape with a stingy amount of glue. Ouch. Scotsmen, how do you feel about that?
And so, I’m faced with the dilemma of creating a new potentially offensive phrase. Does the world really need that? I’ll let you decide. This may be my best chance at coining a phrase.
Consider this scenario:
Me: Hey babe. The budget is a little tight. Do you mind if we go Dutch on this?
Her: Ya know, the plates are really huge here, why don’t we just go Scotch. I think one is enough the both of us.
I write this now because, it has been coined to the point that when my wife called me about going out tonight on a shoestring entertainment budget she said, “Why don’t we go Scotch on some nachos.”